Mean Mary

I don’t need a full moon, it’s when the sky’s not overcast

The sun reaches high noon, and it can happen very fast

I hide under a shade tree when I start feeling strange

But a ray of light finds me, and I can feel the change

I guess I’m complicated, and so people back away

When the old me has vacated, I become something gray   

Wish I could do a suntan ad, or find a suntan lotion

That’ll stop these changes just a tad, or change them to slow motion

CHORUS

If I howl or bay, or give my lonesome cry

Please don’t back away, it’s just my way of saying “hi”

Some say it’s like the howl, of a wolf that’s playing chicken  

But maybe it’s the growl, of a woman panic-stricken

Please don’t run away, nothing’s ever what it seems

I’m trapped in a movie where everybody screams

I could be a sweet lady, a doctor, or a teacher

But once I set the monster free, they only see - woman creature

Some say I’m mythological, a product of nightmares

Some say it’s psychological, and caused by day scares

As I roam my territory, I might look quite voracious

But it’s just an allegory, I’m really quite flirtatious

I guess I have the specs of werewolf or were-coyote

With a “right the wrong” complex of a were-Don-Quixote

Wish I could do a suntan ad, or find a suntan lotion

That’ll stop these changes just a tad, or change them to slow motion

CHORUS

CHORUS

Please don’t run away, nothing’s ever what it seems

I’m trapped in a movie where everybody screams

If you see me and Lon Chaney in a double feature

Just know I’m free, I had to be – a woman creature

The Federal Bureau of Investigation, says it’s ultraviolet radiation

The Agriculture Corporation, say it’s from cross-pollination

The World Health Organization, say it’s humanitarian evaporation

The Aviation Administration, blames a hydrogen ion concentration

The Ladies Aid Foundation, say it’s a vocational complication

My local TV station, says I need an inoculation 

The Board of Education, says it’s just misinformation

My credit application, says it’s suspended animation


music and lyrics by Mary James & Jean James